Guidance

Desire to bring out the best in each other
Know that the other person wants the best for you, but may be hurt (and forgetful.)
Tell your truth
Do not judge the other person
No put-downs
Treat people like your favorite painting: put them in their best light.
"I hear you,"are the three most important words.

Compassionate Communication
Concise Guide to Conflict Resolution*

Listen - Tell Truth - Listen Again - Agree

1. HIGHER SOURCE

If both parties agree, ask for loving wisdom from a higher source to be with all parties

2. LISTEN

Give your full attention
- Make eye contact
- Face person, be still
Allow other person to finish (use timer if needed)
Make no assumptions
Instead of hearing criticism, listen to other person's need.

3. TELL YOUR TRUTH

Your voice is your power. Use "I" statements:

"I observe . . . _____________________." – without judgement, state your observations
"I feel . . . _____________________." – state your feelings
"I need . . . _______________________." – state your desire or need
"I would like . . . _____________________."
1. State request
2. Give preference: "On a scale of 1-10, I would like this to happen 9, really a lot."

4. LISTEN AGAIN

"Do you understand my request and is it okay with you?"
Listen (see #2 above)
Get to where you can honestly say "I hear you."

5. AGREE

Shake (or hug) on your agreement
Smile

* For more information about the process of Compassionate Communication, visit the Center for Non-Violent Communication.

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